BBC Iran declared illegal

The Iranian government has officially declared the newborn BBC network, which was launched a mere 3 weeks ago, to be illegal, officials say.
The network, based out of a goat farm in Iran, was aimed at broadcasting to, and informing, the general public of Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Turbankastan, and suicidebombershavemanywiveskastan, of any immanent dangers, and potential threats, that would face them in the future, and to heed them warning enough to take protective measures over themselves, and their pet goats.
With Iran one of the major contributors to these threats, the network was rapidly declared a violation of the 9Th amendment to the constitution of the united states of Iran, and deemed illegal.
when informed that Iran is an authoritarian, tyrannical, regime, and therefore doesn't have a constitution, Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad was quoted as saying "the tree huggers will hug trees, and the Honey hogers will hog honey, but by g-d the British are coming, the British are coming." President Ahmadinejad then proceeded to break out into cheery song singing "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair boychick." Disturbing?..... yes!... Psychopathic?.....maybe! Frightening?.....I suppose....
Pleas for reconsideration have fallen on deaf ears, and the Iranian government has threatened to slaughter 1 Innocent baby goat, every half hour, until the BBC film crew and reporters are on cable cars out of the country.
007 Mr. Daniel Craig has been deployed on the top secret recovery mission, from within the lions den, in which each member of the BBC team will be rescued, along with an adopted goat, and a complimentary basket of sand.
Though details of the mission are highly classified, i am able to tell you that Mr. Craig plans to take a 9:15 p.m. flight into Iran, from Sisile's Italy, on Friday the 16 of February, under the assumed name of Mr. James Q Bond. He will then be picked up by a yellow limousine with 007 painted on its side in hot pink,. Mr. Craig, or Bond for that matter, will then be escorted to the Hotel De Oily Turban, where he will spend the night in room 213 with only one guard at his door.In the morning, Mr. Craig/Bond will rise along with the sun, the roosters, and the goats, and will proceed to the compound where the hostages are being held via a green Apache helicopter, serial number #146acp4. He will repel into the building via the southeast corner of the roof, and take out the guards with hot tea and biscuits to the chest. After securing the Britain's, Mr. Bond/Craig will then proceed to smuggle them out of the compound under the pretext of (you guessed it) used goat salesman, by taking the northernmost road in a caravan of baby blue mini coopers. At the rendezvous point which will be an empty Field two miles north of the border, everyone will change into cement truck driver uniforms, with the name goats r us embroidered n their hats and shirts, and proceed to drive cement trucks over the border. The exact number of wheels on the cement trucks however, i cannot divulge, for knowledge of this information can potentially compromise the operation, and jeopardise that safety of the BBC team. I'm sure you understand what i mean.
Further details are still beginning to emerge, and as allways, we will fulfil our civil duty to keep you the public informed about information that is completely irrelevant to you.
Until then, don't panic, stay cautious, and make sure to feed your goats!!!!
Bartholomew (goat) Out.