Is It Judgment Day? Or Is The Acid Finally Kicking in?

Thursday May 5, 2009: Breaking news. There have been numerous reports throughout the state of New York, filed in government agencies on all levels including the FBI, CIA, NSA, CTU, and Anti Alien agencies, of UFO sightings in the sky. And I quote, “It was just a huge, round ball of yellow fire, and it gave off searing heat, and bright, almost blinding light; I didn’t know what to do.” said Lenore Manycatsoldlady. Lenore went on to say, “I watched that terminator movie with judgment day, well that’s what it felt like. I was so scared I took Snuggles, and Mr. Furry, and hid in my refrigerator.”
A N.Y. native, Frank Mcattitude said, “eh fagedeboudit, I grew up in Brooklyn were we used to eat rocks and steel fa breakfast, trust me, this was notin!! I mean wereda greatest city in the world, wit da greatest baseball team, and a huge green chick wit spiky hair floating around in our dirty, polluted water. We can take on anyting!!!” Frank was not a very credible witness however, seeing as he said all of this while shaking uncontrollably, teeth chattering, in pants he had recently peed.
Reports of what is now being called “big reed scary ball of fire up in the sky freaking us all out of our pants that we bought at some crappy little mom and pop shop for 5 times the price because N.Y. doesn’t have any normal stores for buying anything” were that the fireball only emerges in the sky in between rain showers and clouds, and is scary enough to frighten even Rosy O’Donnell.
The authorities have instructed that anyone who sees “b,r,s,b,o,f,u,i,t,s,f,u,a,o,o,o,p,t,w,b,a,s,c,l,m,a,p,s,f,f,t,t,p,b,n,d,h,a,n,s,f,b,a” should phone in the sighting immediately, and take shelter in an underground facility. Keep garlic and a kryptonite handy, and no matter what, do not under any circumstances look it directly in the eye.
Special agents Scott Molder and Dana Skully have been called in from retirement/reruns to run the investigation into this ominous threat hanging (literally) over our heads, and we will keep the public informed as the investigation moves forward. If you hear, or see something, just remember. Who you gunna call??; Ghost busters.