Disneyland to cut workers amidst economic decline.

Grocery store pumpkin pie, and tofu turkey was the unfortunate scene at the tables of hundreds of billions of middle class families across America this past thanksgiving (note the overdramatisized number for point making) as the economy has taken such a hard beating that it can no longer cover up the black and blue marks with "i bumped into a door" excuses.
In fact the AAFTPTDHSFCAA or the American Association For Tracking Peoples Travel During Holiday Season For Comic Affect Associated (note the redundancy for point makingness) has reported that the number of people who traveled more than the distance from their living room to their room filled with junk and other crap this holiday weekend has dropped a whopping 72.4 % as more and more families are learning the cold hard truth of budgeting and rationing, as well as what vegetarians must go through on a daily basis.
One middle class American who has taken a hard beating in the economic decline is the recently famed Joe "the Shmo" plumber (note all names have been changed so as to not publicly defame the subjects of our public defamation for point makingnessitude) who said that even during the usually busy holiday season of plumbering, many people have resorted to using empty beer bottles and buckets to take care of their business, and that is taking a toll on his plumber purse (wallet where plumbers keep their money). what he means by this I'm not quite sure although some annalists believe he means that people are simply learning to do their own plumbing on the Internet using empty bear bottles and buckets as tools, and buying plumber purses made in china on Chinese Friday to keep the money they saved in.
One major business that has suffered dramatically this holiday season is the famed Disneyland, where dreams can happen or something like that as many people who usually made a yearly pilgrimage to see such characters as batman, robin, Santa, and Mickey mouse whom are known for their warm hospitality during the thanksgiving time. perhaps to hospitable as there are currently 47 law suits being brought against a certain character who lives there though we will leave it up to your imagination to figure out for what.(that is what with the w pronounced before the h for point makingnessitudeability) after all it is the land of fantasy are staying close to home in an attempt to save money for their children's crack funds.(takes deep breath as that was a very long sentence)
Unfortunately the Disneyland board has announced that due to the loss in annual income, they will be laying off characters left and right. left to live and right to go. Mickey mouse was quoted as saying the following. "i just turned 80 so my pension kicks in. suck it bitches". when told that was inappropriate to say in front of children Mickey was quoted as saying "@!%$@^$^ the kids I'm retiring".
Anywhoooooo, that is the level of lunacy's we have seen as the economy has melted to nothing but ashes. ashes. we all fall down.
For "dig up dirt on celebrities and then blackmail them" news, I am Bartholomew Higgins.
Bartholomew out.