In its natural habitat the bipolar bear seems fierce, yet tame. angry, yet calm. happy, yet sad. And everything in between. One moment he is violently ripping deer to shreds along with the lions, and the next he is braiding the cougar's hair, and knitting quilts with Steven the peacock. So lives the bipolar bear, on the edge of danger, yet at a safe enough distance that nothing can go wrong.
With a strict daily diet of vegetables and fruit, nothing more nothing less, and meats and cheeses, nothing less nothing more, the bipolar bear gains the strength necessary to uphold his status as the prince of the jungle, and yet the pauper of his natural habitat.
As a monogamous animal, the bipolar bear seeks out and mates with hundreds of female bears at any given time, and then proceeds to hunt and kill baby sheep to use as parchment to construct pro PETA signs out of.
Such is the life of the bipolar bear as it lives life to the fullest, yet dies young and unfulfilled.
Sadly however, the bipolar bear is becoming ever extinct, as the career of psychology is becoming a more and more popular choise amongst the dolphins, and prozac has been approved as an over the counter drug.
But you, yes you, the ice cold guy over there with four legs and a sleek new cell phone, you have the power to help stop these shocking things from happening. All it takes is a compassionate heart, a will to help, courage, and a set of 1842 silver dollars valued today at $45.6 million, and you can become the proud owner of your very own bipolar bear, Ripped from its natural habitat special for you. And Ice Creem truck or not, we do grantee the chick magnet to be included. (three AAA batteries not included)
Bartholomew out.
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