Obama is a gutter ball!!

"Obama is a gutter ball!! Obama is a gutter ball!! Everyone together now!Obama is a gutter ball!! Obama is a gutter ball!! Obama is a gutter ball!!" Such were just a few of the scathing chants, and angry picket signs yelled out and held up at the National Association for Bowlers Constitutional Rights protest rally against insulting reports that the white house and its new not so white, not so house, president elect, Barrack Obama, plans to transform the white house presidential bowling alley, installed by president Who Cares the third in the year 194no1givesaratsass, into a full sized, fully loaded, NBA grade basketball court.
A spokesperson for the lobbyist group Bowling Associated League Of Sports Environmental Reliability, or B A LOSER Albert Virginson, was quoted as saying Wednesday, " it is an outragiously outrageous outrage, and we the bowling community are outraged to the extent of outrageously repeating outrageous words such as outrage. I mean whats next? is the president going to turn the presidential cafiteria into a drug kitchen? is he planning to turn the oval office into the square office of gay black rights? Will the white house lawn become an amnesty zone for stolen bikes and stereo systems? Will the Washington monument be replaced by the Toupak Shakur monument? Will the white house Physician be swapped for Dr. Dre? Where does this stop? Where does the line get drawn? I say we draw it at the 10/10 split. I say we set the cutoff at perfect 300 game of all strikes. I say we stand up for our turkeys and our spares. Our fourbaggers and our cycling pin stops. I say we don't allow our president the opportunity to be a gutter ball. Then and only then can we go back to our cheep bear and hot wing contests in peace. Barrack, leave our bowling alley alone!!!!!
Upon inquiry, Mr. Obama proceeded to turn his over sized baseball cap to the side, pull up his sagging pants, hoist a large stereo system blaring "50, in the club" over his shoulder, and twirl a basketball on his other index finger, demonstrating his unquestionable ability to run a country with both of his hands tied up and responded, " It has been a long time coming, overdue, trend in this country, but change has finally come to Amerifrica. Read books and get smart? No. Just play basketball. Trade stocks and get rich? No. You still haven't mastered that perimeter shot. Cure illness and help the poor? Can you dunk like Jordan yet? I didn't think so. You ask me how to fight terrorism, the answer is a game of three on three hoops. You ask me how to fix the economy? the answer is no doubt as Coby says best, " get the ball into the hoop, no matter what it takes". This is why you, the popular sovereignty of the united States of America elected me president. This is what you saw in me, and not in my contender, a 76 year old white boy from Arizona , who thinks basketball is a golf green in CConnecticut. You saw that i could lead this country into victory against any other governmental team in the world. Change has come to Amerifrica, and its called presidential slam dunk 2009!!!!
Mariska Hargatay.
Bartholomew out.